Datuk K's business opportunity/profit depends on us.

Kira aku pegang kuasa untuk pilih company (of his many companies) dia atau tak.

HAHAHAHAUYDIAWR*@QRH@*(RHFDJKASDAJD (gelak keji)

So he can bodek me all he wants, kasi kipas bontot aku bagi sejuk sikit baru aku kasi point lebih.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAHAHA oh aku gembira

Today's clarification meeting with the last vendor (HOPEFULLY!!!) was the best. Never knew I could be wide awake and ended up laughing my ass off after the meeting. Since this is going to be a short update, I'm gonna well, make this short.

You know, during the meeting, I was seated in front of this Datuk Sri, and while he was doing his thingymajic presentation, aku kat sini dok la fikir, sapa Datuk Sri ni, I know I've seen him somewhere, I mean his face is so damn familiar! Adakah dia ni kawan bapak aku? Atau boss bapak aku? Atau aku pernah jumpa dia masa kenduri kawen? Atau dia pernah datang rumah? I mean whatever the reason is, aku tau, aku pernah jumpa dia!! Penat aku fikir, throughout the whole presentation aku bukannya concentrate sangat, sekadar tulis notes sebab nak kasi boss the impression yang aku ni perajin hahaha, padahal aku tengah sebok pikir, sapalahDatuk ni!!

So tak kesah la, I mean pedulik apa la kan kalau aku pernah jumpa dia ke tak, tapi agak sakit hati la sebab tak dapat-dapat, you know the feeling when you have the answer at the tip of your tongue, but tak kluar kluar.

Lepas presentation, when we all balik ke bilik consultant, I mentioned to the floor that Datuk Sri's face is sooooooooo familiar, and my boss backed me up la, he pon skali join aku yang tengah blur-blur ni saying dia pon macam pernah nampak. Then my project manager tiba-tiba ketawa macam orang gila, "hey! apa la you guys ni, I thought you people knew oredyy, kept on mentioning he has wide connections, he's Datuk K la, Siti Nurhaliza's husband!"

HAHAHAh patot ah macam pernah nampak, nampak dalam TV!

Naseb baik aku tak tanya depan-depan Datuk tu, "Datuk, you look so familiar la, I think we've met before! You pernah datang rumah I ke?"

Konfirm dia jawab balik: "Ohh, I don't think I've seen you before..probably you've seen me dalam TV'

HAHAHA maluu bebbb

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Lagi satu, one of his directors' name is Hans So.

And I made a mistake pronouncing it as HANS SOLO

hahaha alamak, mati kena bomb.

While it isn't scientific, the idea of ageism is something that was adopted a long time ago in Malaysia and though it has lessened with the latest generation of parents in their mid to early 30's it still exists here. It's a type of arrogance in almost every human to be right, even if they know they're wrong.

These days, it's mostly the generation that is reaching their 60's - 70's that STILL believe in this cultural dominance due to longer periods of existence on earth. It's the concept of "I've lived longer than you have, so I must know more than you do about everything." and while it does hold some merit in specific situations, in most cases it is lacking truth and logic. I mean, there are books, shows, new technology, etc. that is birthed every day, and unless you've come across it before me, how could you know more just because you've lived longer? It's like an older person acting as if they know more about a computer than you do, even though they can't even manage an excel sheet without cursing the computer.

It all kinda stems from the hypocritical society that gave birth to modern civilization, all the way back to the ancient Chinese culture, where hierarchy was the most cherished tradition. From that, other cultures adopted it and molded to whatever their country uses now. For instance, Malaysia adopted it into the "RESPECT" fashion, where you're to respect your elders, or speak when spoken to, etc. And from that, lesser minds have flipped it into a phrase to belittle those younger than them.

Now that I’ve thought about it, it is true that our country suffers from massive cases of ageism, but nevertheless it still exists in every culture, and will continue to within ignorant families.

But let's not mistake it for respecting those older than you. Because although age doesn't always bring with it wisdom, most of those older than us, should be respected because they've paved the road we now travel, in some way. Respect them, but don't let the dumb walk over you.



Alia The Complaint-monger over and out.

I have accepted the fact that I am not attractive, a long long time ago. I am fat, big and bulky, I don't have smooth skin, I'm not fair, in fact, I blend in the dark pretty well. I have flat hair, even though I have great assets (big breasts) but I don't have a big butt, I am short and midget-like. I am not well-proportioned. In short, I am no supermodel, actually, not even model material.

My lack of attractiveness used to be the major contributor for my lack of confidence.

And my lack of confidence was the driving factor for driving the boys away. Well amongst other things. And being only a teenager, we all wanted the same thing; to feel belonged, to feel wanted.

It was never a problem for my beautiful friends, they were given options, choices on who to choose to be their companion for the day/week/month. They changed boys like how they changed handbags! And there was me, a faithful friend who gave advises when things went haywire, a shoulder to cry when their hearts were bleeding. I was there, offering a hand to friends and secretly wishing someone to care for me too. You see, I had no choice to choose from, there were no boys who laid their eyes on me. I was unwanted, and that made me felt really ugly. Seeing all my friends laughing with their partners, or sheepishly smile when their crushes pass by, I could not help but to paint a smile on my face, and cry silently deep inside.

I was never given the chance to experience love, to experience partnership, to feel belong. I was alone, despite of being rich with friends. No one wanted me, I felt uglier and uglier as time went by.

Then there was a day when I finished high school and started University. This was when I was going to change my life, hoping that little boys will turn to real men. Wishing that real men would see that I AM beautiful, not on the outside, but on the inside. Wishing they are matured enough to weigh skin-deep beauty versus physical appearance. I have once more gained my confidence, for having these hopes to keep my head up.

I was not searching for a partner, but rather seeking for the feeling to feel wanted and belonged. To feel how it is like to have someone that cares for you, that likes you and thinks of you.

And it never happened. We all know how Malaysian men would only go for women with small boobs, thin waist and fair skin. This is no longer a stereotype, but a reality. Not once I have crossed path with men who could provide me with sense of belonging.

Unwanted, rejected and disappointed.

I was alone once again.

I don't think I could feel more uglier than how I felt at that time. I have zeroed all my self-esteem. I was living under dark clouds. All men looked THROUGH me, none of them looked AT me. No one noticed me, I was so depressed but I camouflaged it with constant smiles and laughters. No one knew how much my heart was bleeding.





Until I found him.

He knew I was hurting. He made me remember how to smile and laugh sincerely.

He is a chameleon, he always seems to be able to transform himself into any role I should wish, even if he never knows it consciously. He moves me, he shakes me, he makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I cherish his company. He is the only man who looks AT me. I am no longer invisible.

All these times I have always thought how unlucky I was, for being in a long dark tunnel all alone, unwanted and rejected. But little did I know, at the end of that tunnel, there was a man waited patiently, with his contagious smile carved on his handsome face, extended his hand, waiting for me to grab it and never to let go till the rest of the time.

I no longer wait for a man to like me, because I know I have someone who loves me.


I love you Don Miller. Forever and Always.

It's no good news when your father is your boss's best friend. People have mouths, they talk and talk and talk and oops, your daddy slips about you parading in your momma's dress and heels when you were 7 years old, and oops, your daddy slips about how much you love napping during the day, and oops, your daddy slips about how you are such a lazy bum and bullying your siblings as your favorite hobby. You know the list can go on and on.

In this case, how are you going to maintain your professionalism in your work? You know, there are some information that just meant to circulate around your family. So how are you going to face your boss who now knows about everything in your past, your present and your future?

:(

Heavy bandwidth ahead!

Ok, not really.

It has been rather bland lately, no colorful pictures, no horrible drawings, no Olympics spirit, so I thought, hey, why not put some photos in here, yeah I'm a genius *evil laugh*

Okay this is seriously just to tone down my angry post below, hehe.

----

Having Olympics fever? Want to be like one of these lucky spectators?


Taken in Olympics 1984


You don't have to go all the way to China, Sogo is enough:



LOOK AT THE FUCKING COWS, I mean crowd.


------

You know how I'm such a nomad that I don't even have my own cubicle at the office? Well, no I still don't, but I just wanted to show how awesome it is to work here in New York..



Gorgeous path.
Kenkonon perasan sikit kerja kat Amerikah.



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My FIRST (ever!) designer's top!!!!!!!!
LOOK!! LOOK!!!



Even though Wang is just a timid looking Asian American designer, her clothes are AWESOME!!
..And I bought it for...



KAH KAH KAH. Beli kat FOS je. I'm fucking broke. Tak mampu nak beli baju beribu raban.



------

What's the difference here? (Note: left notebook - office's notebook, right - own)



I AM RICHER THAN WHAT MY OFFICE CAN AFFORD.

KAH KAH KAH KAH.



Sekian,
Materialistic and Psychotic Alia.

Why can't people just mind their OWN business? Why they can't shut their yap and dig their own fucking asshole? Who are you? Hitler? Trying to dictate people with your own goddamn beliefs, WE pretty sure we don't give a flying crap. It's our own life and we have the fucking rights to be as conservative like you or not. It's our free will, not bound to yours. Can you not see the hypocrisy that you preach? Of course you don't, you've been blinded by your ancestors. So here, I'll do you a favor, fix yourself first THEN you can help others, if even, you little hypocrite fuck.

I am getting out from this country. Too much bullshit going on.

Today is mundane albeit hectic schedule this morning. Since I'm not supposed to write those reports because of my absence during the presentation day, I've been spending my time lurking online, trying to find interesting news that would actually keep me awake and well, interested.

I had/have free time to waste, so I went to her blog, and like usual, got annoyed within a couple of posts. I don't get what's so special about her making her having the title "Celebrity blogger". What's so interesting?? She talks about her life, her friends, some sponsored products and bitch about people. Speaking of which, I later found out (after a long time scrolling down her page) that she has another lawyer's letter. This girl has court cases trailing onto her ass every now and then. Well, probably because she's too thick to realize that being "famous" does not give her the rights to publicly throw her tantrum onto other people. I suppose fame clouded her senses.

Oh well, I guess she'll survive and keep on writing as long as she still has her boobs to pop, then people would still love her.

---

I can't wait to go home. To tell you to truth, I can't wait to try out my new free account WoW. Har har har. I want to see how gay can the game be. I don't even know whether my connection can support the goddamn thing or not. Connection is a piece of shit y'know. I've been complaining hundreds of times and it's still the same, there is NO use to lodge another complaint if they're not gonna do any goddamn thing to change it. They even had the guts to tell me that the server is on the other side of my neighborhood, so connection drop is pretty often. I told them then why do I still have to pay the same price like those people who receive solid connection, and they said it's the price for whatever reason.

BULLFUCKINGSHIT.

Why the fuck do I still have to pay THE SAME price as those with higher connection when IT IS NOT EVEN MY FAULT that they've decided to fucking bury the goddamn server there??! HOW IS IT FUCKING FAIR to receive a SHIT ASS bandwidth and pay like the rest of them?!?!! What about customer service? What about customers satisfaction? WHAT ABOUT US? STOP thinking about future fucking business plan, STOP thinking about enlarging your goddamn network, START THINKING ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR GODDAMN SERVICES.

STREAMYX IS NONSENSE.

Ok I'm done.

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I received a call from my office just now, and they wanted to know about our printer's counter over here. The call was handed over to this guy who I believe is the supplier for the printer/ink, and oh my god, I dunno wtf is wrong with him, it's like he couldn't understand me! Here's how the conversation went:

Him: Ok I want you press the "Menu" button and then hit "OK". There should be a counter number there
Me: Ahh, I see it, okay, for colors, the numbers are 630546
Him: Okay lemme repeat that..645063..
Me: No no, it's 630546
Him: Oh, 645063..
Me: No, 630546
Him: 64...
Me: *cuts him off* No, 6-3-0-5-4-6
Him: Ahh.. 646306
Me: Noooo six three zero five four six
Him: 65063..
Me: Bukan bukan enam tiga kosong lima empat enam
Him: 64043....

IT WENT ON FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES OKAY.

I said them in ENGLISH AND MALAY and he STILL couldn't get it!! It was like he randomly drew out numbers from his ass. Aku cakap lain dia cakap lain.

GOD, he was really testing my patience.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY I WANT TO GO HOME????